Guilty coffee

So yes I am so looking forward to making the trip back home to see everyone, but I must admit, I feel as though I have the weight of a thousand stones on my shoulders, because we still haven't worked out who is going to watch the kids. Initially, Henrik was going to take holidays and paternity days to stay home with them when I booked the ticket! Two weeks later he had started his own company, well I guess you could say we had, since I was very much part of the decision to do so, and now everything changes! What am I going to do? Every morning I drink my coffee while the kids eat their breakfast smiling and grining at me and it's as with each sip the guilt is rising from the pit of my stomach to the top of my eyelids, until they are almost brimming with tears.
Henrik insists that he is going to work it out between his mom and some friends our ours but I can't help it, I'm riddled with it.