Judging a book by it's cover!

So the girls and I are finally getting a book club started, or at least setting a deadline to decide when to start one... and only after a few years of talking about it. That's progress my friends.

We finally decided that we would all come up with a suggestion for a book, and the only rule is it has to be something you haven't read before. Great right! no, wrong! It was my suggestion about choosing a book you've never read before.... what was I thinking? Talk about adding the pressure of having to judge a book by it's cover.
Today, I was talking to Zoe and she was having the same dilemma! Which made me think of yet another Joeyism that I wanted to blurt out in the phone to her. Here goes:

My parents were arguing with my brother and half way through the conversation he starts changing his mind or standpoint, and my mom calls him on it and says "Joey that's not what you said 5 minutes ago" and my brother replies "Okay fine, I totally disagree with myself!" Yep that's right say it again, because it even gets funnier the more you say it..... "Fine, I totally disagree with myself"

So I'm disagreeing with myself and picking a book I want to read again "The handmaiden's Tale" by Margret Atwood- cheers

Come and Eat!!

Lately every time I put food on the table my 3 year old lets out the biggest sigh.... oh no not fish, ohhhh no not this, not that, which is just what you want to hear when you've spent time making a healthy home cooked well balanced meal for your family. When I ask him what he wants to eat, it's usually pancakes or cereal!
The other night after whipping up some home made pasta carbornara and hearing Alfred's ohhh nej! yet again, I had a flash back from my own childhood. I grew up with a steak and potatoes two veg, salad and garlic bread dad, and each night when sitting down to this feast all I really wanted and longed for was macaroni and cheese from a box. The brand in Canada is called Kraft Dinner, my dad renamed it Crap Dinner. (that's his thing he has nicknames for everyone and everything)
Anyway one night my dad was playing in a baseball tournament, and therefore my mom was happy to make us kids this 10 min meal. I was so excited I asked if I could have a friend from down the street over for dinner- sure goes mom. I race outside and invite my friend, he replies what are you having, I say with great enthusiasm Kraft Dinner. My friend lets out a sigh and says uhhh no thanks we have that all the time. I said okay and turned around to make my way slowly back home, head hanging, sad not to have the company, but mostly I was thinking wow! That kid must be the luckiest guy in the world!

So, here I am serving up food that just can't compete with Crap Dinner!

Failing an army physical

Since being pregnant with the twins, I've had the worst sore feet, so bad that I've almost been tempted to use my uncle's lame expression "Wow these dogs are barking!" - and I hate when people say that! Turns out I have fallen arches, in other words I'm a flat footed momma! Destine for ugly reliable shoes! Ok, so what does this mean? Are my chances of becoming a foot model for some kinky foot fetish Internet site over? or what!

I always thought fallen arches was something old ladies complained about to each other while waiting in the doctors office for their name to be called. But now I'm one of them... without any warning I have been initiated into their circle, but I refuse to go quiet into that good night my friend! Instead of joining them I'm going to take the opposite approach, I can be happy, look at it this way the army won't want me in case of the draft!

Ok, while I was typing this my husband comes over and asks me "Can I unplug the power to the computer for a second or are you writing something?" My answer was "Sure, I'm only fake typing Henrik... go ahead". Yikes do you think he loves me for my sarcasm? Lets hope so cause he just got a loving spoonful of it just then.

Dream Job!

Today while cleaning my kitchen I was listening to the radio as usual. After every few songs comes a slew of ads which are annoying, I usually change stations or just tune them out with my highly developed selective hearing, but today my radar picked something up that had me smiling for hours.

The radio ad was actually for selling radio time to companies who are looking for employees- so instead of taking out a help wanted ad in the local paper you could have a voice ad on their station. OK, so far so good, then we get to their selling point of why air time is better than the regular run of the mill help wanted ads in the paper....
....wait for it....

the woman announcer in her perky voice states.... "maybe the person that best fits your employment needs doesn't know where to even find your help wanted ad! that's why radio ads are better."

Okay back the truck up for just a second people, I'm thinking who the heck is in this target group? You mean to tell me there are a bunch of companies desperately searching for someone that doesn't read the help wanted ads in the paper when looking for work!!!! why? Are these candidates too stupid? Illiterate perhaps? or so unmotivated that picking up a newspaper to find a job is just too hard. I'm I the only one that is perplexed by this.

Anyway, Friday is finally here, Alfred and Henrik have gone to the carwash, it's half price after nine at night. He's a frugal man after my dad's heart!

No sleep for the Willing!

Do you remember when you were a kid and having to go to bed was like punishment? Tonight Alfred pleaded his case not have to go to bed by pointing out that it wasn't even dark outside. It made me realize how adulthood really creeps up on you. I mean Alfred doesn't want to go to bed, I can't wait to collapse into it, he wants the light on, I relish total darkness, he wants to listen to music, I would love a pair of earplugs (if I didn't have to listen for the twins).

Life is funny that way, I mean perspective is really the key, sometimes when I am really stressed I fantasize about being thrown into jail for a week or two. I mean just think about it, your punishment is you have to stay in a cell with a bed to relax in and just read or sleep. Then you get to come out and eat 3 squares, prepared for you, and don't forget some time in the yard for fresh air and exercise. I'm mean come on it's like a spa vacation compared to tough days or nights when kids are sick keeping you up all hours.

Maybe I've come up with a new way for jails to generate income, they can have a wing solely devoted to sleep deprived wives and mothers. Just think your husband could come home and surprise you with an all inclusive stay at the big house. I guess the down side is there is always the risk someone could slip you the shiv when you least expect it.

I'll keep this plan on the back burner for awhile and cling to the fact that in 12 years I will have 3 teenage boys that won't move before noon.

Biggest Loser meets Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream

Today the God Mother came over after working out for a cuppa, and I must say I got a short but fleeting urge to jump up on that band wagon. The boys turn 5 months next week and I think the honeymoon period of wow you look great for just having twins is over.

However, it's going to take more than a pang of guilt to get me into the gym. So my new plan of attack is to mentally get ready, I've been watching reruns of the biggest loser everyday on channel 5, in fact I even tivo it!

Okay but here's the truth yesterday while watching I was eating Nigella's peanut butter chocolate topping over ice cream. You see losing weight conflicts with one of my favourite pass times food! So what to do, I digress for the moment.

Well one good thing about being fat is that no one can really tell how old you are, according to my dad this is referred to as the fat age! Example, "Dad what's the new neighbour like?" Dad- "Nice, chubby girl" Me - "How old is she?" Dad - "Can't tell- she's in the fat age"

So yes fat is a powerful age eliminator- it makes the young look older, and the old look younger (no wrinkles) hence "they have entered the fat age" !

No time like the present

If I had a dollar for every time I told someone "I've got to write that one down", I'd be a millionaire by now. Not that I have such an exciting life, but sometimes it's stranger than fiction.

I have a younger brother who is always saying things that make me laugh, unintentionally of course. My mother and I refer to them as Joeyisms, and I'd like to share one with you right now. Last week my brother and mother are driving in the car, my mom goes " Joey do you know where we are going?" Joey- "Relax I know this place like the back of my head"..... case in point.

So today is the day, I am officially going to start writing these things down!