First Impressions+ Work

Friday
 Not just any Friday but the first Friday after the first official week of regular school.  The verdicts are in, and all of my students are getting rave reviews! From the shy and timid to the charismatic they all had me at hello.  And I have to ask myself, were they always like this? Just right in front of me, plain as day? And was I just too cloudy to see them? What ever the answer I am grateful, truly, for my wonderful colleagues that stuck by me when the going got tough. 

I awoke early Tuesday morning, to a message that my uncle had passed away during the night. I was of course hit with the overwhelming isolation that those who have immigrated only truly understand. I was here, and all of my tribe back home were circling around to share the sorrow, the air, and that existential mood. That connective thread that we all share to those in our family is undeniably strong when one is taken from the group. It's as if there is a gravitational pull both mentally and physically.  When my husband awoke I told him of my sad news and he immediately suggested that I stay home from work, but I answered no with out a blink of an eye. 

It was there that my colleagues listened to me, and shared that heavy air, so that it became lighter and lighter, by the end of the day I could once again breathe. The tight knot in my stomach that had tied itself when I got the news that my cousin was called to return to her father's bedside, had started to loosen and I could let some tears out and yes not feel so far away from home. 

My uncle was a wonderful man, and I have so many fond memories of the kindness he showed me especially when I was a rebellious teenager.  But my uncle to say the least was not a very social person, and I had my first big smile when thinking of him the other day. I called my mother to inquire about the funeral, and she replied " He didn't want one, so there will not be one" And there it came! The smile, because my Uncle was true to who he was right to the end! Go uncle Nick! There is something to be said about a person who can swim against the stream, I'm hoping it's a family trait. This last wish of his and the family respecting it, sends a vital message to my nearly "hitting the wall" self that is loud and clear. "Be yourself and those that love you will accept you"